NOTE: This article was written on January 6th, and post-dated to publish on January 17th, 2010. What you are about to read is an 8-Bit Variety Show "Post... FROM THE FUTURE!"
On January 19th it will be my birthday, and as a gift to me, Nintendo of America has decided to stage a press conference to give me all of the launch details for the Nintendo 3DS! Because I love humanity, I told Nintendo that they had to let everyone else in on the information, too. As you can imagine, this was met with a few grumbles, and some drunken shouting.