Monday, February 14, 2011

Gamer Romances - A Very 8-Bit Valentine's Day!

Hey there, everybody! Happy Valentine's Day/day just like any other day!

As I prepared this week to court my personal Princess Daisy at the behest of the Hallmark Greeting Card Company, I couldn't help but think back on the wonderful memories she and I have had together. I'm lucky, as gamers go, to have a wife who encourages my favorite hobby, and in return, I try to keep my gaming to a reasonable amount of time. She even loves video game music, which is one of my enduring passions! Mozel tov!

In celebration of those special guys and girls that we have now or may have in the future (as well as by way of inspiration should any of you ever want to pop the question, and have a significant other who wouldn't mind a geeky, BUT AWESOME, proposal), The 8-Bit Variety Show presents:

Awesome Gamer Proposals!
Gamer Proposes By Hacking Chrono Trigger

Chrono Trigger is one of my favorite games ever. EVER. As awesome as my wife is, and she is undoubtedly awesome, I would kill her and elope with Chrono Trigger if Chrono Trigger asked me to.

That said, I'm a straight male, and if this guy proposed to me like this, I would say yes and kiss him on the mouth. If his girlfriend hadn't said yes, I would have. Such is my love for Chrono Trigger, and this guy's idea for proposing was pure genius.

Earthbound: "Your Proposal" Locations

There really is nothing like seeing young love, and I am all for when it comes by way of their mutual love of an awesome game like Earthbound. Unlike the guy from the Chrono Trigger Proposal (or "Chrotrigosal", as we call it in the biz), this guy had the guts to record this girl's reaction and sync it up in real-time to the video. That requires that either you have an extraordinary amount of confidence in your sexual charisma, or you're willing to get your future wife-to-be inebriated in front of the entire internet. Judging by that wine glass, I'm going to have to say... both.

"Matt proposes!"
"Liz became engaged!"

Super Awesome Mario Bros Wedding Cakes

Once the question is asked, may I make a couple suggestions about the wedding cake?

A classy, simple design that keeps things conservative and in budget. I like the bride and groom at the top, and the mushroom accents are a nice touch, as well. Perhaps having a Chomp attached to the Groom's leg, for some extra comedic mileage?

Although it is certainly not as timeless as the Mario cake above, this one makes up for its lack of classic appeal by being STRAIGHT UP AWESOME. You go ahead and show me someone that doesn't want a freaking spinning globe covered in INVINCIBILITY STARS on top of their wedding cake, and I will show you a damn liar.

If there was one thing that made me nervous about it, it would be the fact that this cake manipulates gravity more than Mario does. It seems like all it would take is a stiff breeze to destroy the inhabitants of that planet in less time than Alderaan. On the other hand, it does have a shout-out to Mario Kart on the bottom! MIND BLOWN. If I have to become a plumber to have something this great, I'll do it.

Do you have any great ideas/stories/poems about romance and video games? Before you share, Loveplus doesn't count. 
If so, let us know about them in comments!



  1. Wow. Those cakes are STUNNING. I resent that you would leave me for Chrono Trigger, but I have yet to play the game...maybe I just don't understand. :)

    Great Article, lots of humor, and shows the true you!

    Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart!

  2. Now that you mention it. Having a gang of ruffians knock my girlfriend out and dress her up as Zelda might be a great way to ask her to marry me. I mean I would be dressed as Link of course, and someone would be dressed as Ganondorf. And then I would fight him before I asked her the big question. Lets hope her anger at being knocked out by hired men will subside once I do that.....

  3. @MatChristensen

    I would happily dress as Ganondorf to make you look heroic.

    I do think, however, that you need to either have the ruffians dress her, or kidnap her... Not both. A woman is only willing to take so much in the name of love. That's how you get your friends arrested for sexual assault.

    Actually, is Ken available? :)

  4. I just finished playing through chrono trigger on my phone... good times!

    My wife made me a pacman cake for my b'day last year and a nintendo cake for my bro, makes it that much more delicious.

  5. @Baa

    Chrono Trigger is a good game, eh?

    It is a pretty awesome wife who will make a geeky cake for her husband.


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